Smoke Clears (SongFics Collection: III)
by cascadedkiwi
Summary: Oneshot. Written listening to "Freeze" by Andy Grammer on repeat. Nagito X OC


Nagi loved his life. Coming from the past he did, who would have thought that a kid like him could become a pop star and a renowned designer? It was hard work, but he enjoyed it. He couldn't be more grateful for the opportunities he'd been blessed with. But sometimes... it was difficult. Overwhelming. The constant practice, maintaining his image, balancing his band work with his personal fashion endeavours... Sometimes he wondered if he could really do it.

He kept a positive attitude around the guys but he wasn't a natural talent like they were. He'd spent countless hours learning to sing and coordinate his body to keep up with the guys. He felt like he held them back at times. They could put together much more complicated choreography if he had more skills and caught on quickly like Iori, who had joined the same time he did but was light years ahead of him in pop star prowess. Sometimes he felt that if he rested for just a minute, he'd be left behind. Not to mention of the pressures of being a public figure. Although not the most popular remember by far, his first taste of celebrity scandal had shaken him to his core. In that moment, he'd realized that his life had forever changed.

Nagito looked down at the costume he was in the middle of designing for their next performance. So many emotions swirled through him. He knew in his heart that the guys would never abandon him, but he couldn't help the anxiety sometimes. As successful as he was, he still didn't know who he belonged to. He had nothing to go off of. He scrunched the vest in his hands. Could he really keep this up? He felt like an impostor, like him being in Revance was a fluke. He couldn't think of a way out. Out of this downward spiral of thoughts, out of his designer's block...

He looked up to the soft knocking on the door.

"Nagi?"

It was her. Her entrance into the group had been more bizarre than his. She hadn't worked or auditioned for this. She'd written one song and Ryo happened to see it. It made him smile to think that maybe he wasn't the only odd one out. He beckoned her into his sewing room, clearing a space on the table for the cup she'd brought with her.

"I just came to check on you," she said softly. "Any progress?"

He shook his head with a frown. "I sometimes wonder how I keep up when I'm like this," he mumbled, opening and closing his hands feebly. "This is all I can really do and now I can barely manage this..."

She came over and stood next to him. "I'm here for you, Nagi," she prefaced with a hand on his shoulder. "Don't wallow in your insecurities by yourself. You're not here by accident or happenstance." She chuckled. "That would be me."

He looked up at her. "But writing's your thing," he said. "Naturally."

"Yeah, _scripts_ ," she agreed. "Not song lyrics. Yet, with your help, I'm here, getting better and better with every song. You're always there for me when I'm stuck." She crouched down to look up into his eyes. "I'm here for you, too. You're not alone, Nagi. Not in the band, and not in your insecurities. I'm beside you 100%. Through thick and thin. The highs and the lows. My support for you is unconditional, just like my love." She reached up and cupped his cheek. "I'll never let you be alone in anything ever again. No matter what happens, I will be right here."

Nagi leaned his cheek into the warmth of her hand, tears filling his eyes. She'd proven those words over and over; cheering him on at every concert, supporting him through every hurt and disappointment in his search. When he put on a brave face, she squeezed his hand and when he gave up and broke down, she held him close, never once making him feel bad or coming down on him. She was so genuine, going through every hill, dip, bend, and curve of the emotional roller-coaster that was his life. He'd promised to never let her be alone and she reciprocated that promise wholeheartedly. They truly went through everything together; the big things involving the guys and the hidden things he struggled with in his own heart and mind. She hadn't known he came but so much baggage but she stuck with him, like the beacon from a lighthouse on a foggy night, standing lone and tall like the torii at Nagasaki, so strong when he felt everything crumbling around him in the darkness of his mind.

He smiled at her and leaned forward, giving her a soft kiss on her downy ribbons of speech. "Thank you for being here for me the way I am for you."

She smiled brightly at his soft thanks, elated he understood her feelings. "You and I, against the world."

 _Written on August 26th 2018_


End file.
